Several years ago, I was feeling certain that my time of public singing had come to an end, but I kept coming across Bible verses that said “sing a new song.” The Psalms are filled with this phrase and it left me puzzled as to how I was supposed to sing a new song if I wasn’t supposed to sing. That was when I published my first Archive article and I discovered that writing could be my “new song”. I always enjoyed writing when I was in school, IF I could decide on a topic. If a teacher’s assignment had a specific theme or goal I was fine, but when we were instructed to “be creative” I would have a severe case of writer’s block.
As my pencil was hovering over a piece of paper trying to compose some meaningful words for this week’s Archive, that writer’s block returned. There were several ideas floating around in my head, but none of them seemed to come together. When my dear husband questioned what I was working on and I shared my frustrations about having nothing ready to print and a deadline was fast approaching, in his infinite wisdom, he said, “Just leave the page blank and sign my name at the bottom.” My initial response was to chuckle at the absurd idea and to share my concern over the future of my employment, but then it got me thinking. He shared how sometimes as Christians we do too much striving. We add more and more to our plate when in reality what we need is to just be still in the presence of the Lord. Those words were an echo of what I had been feeling convicted of by the Holy Spirit over and over again. I have heard the Spirit say, “you don’t need to go to a conference about prayer, you just need to get on your knees and pray”, “you don’t need to read a book about discerning God’s will, you just need to spend time listening for the voice of God”, “when someone is thirsty, they don’t read a book about water, they go and get a drink”.
Over the last several months, I have been meeting together with a group of women from area Reformed churches to study the life of Moses and share about our experiences in ministry. Through the book, “Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership” we have learned about the practice of paying attention, living within our limits, and the spiritual rhythms that we must engage. Our times together have been rich. My struggle is putting into practice on a daily or at least a regular basis the things that I have learned and not just move on to another good book. As James says, I should not deceive myself and merely listen to the word, I need to do what it says. I need to spend time hanging out with God if I want to be transformed.
The author, Ruth Haley Barton, concludes her book with these words, and reflects my own heart as well, “Every time I read about Moses’ relationship with God I am filled with longing, and it is not the longing to get somewhere—although there are always new places to get to. It is the longing to BE a certain kind of person. A person who knows God. A person who is faithful against all odds and does not shrink back. A person through whom God can perform whatever deeds need to be done—mighty or otherwise—but also a person who can be just as content settling down beside a well or sitting on the side of a mountain in God’s presence. Someone whose face shines because she has been talking to God. Someone whose every move is a result of an attempt to listen to God and then do what he says. Someone who, when God says, “It’s time to let go; it’s time for you to come home” easily lets go and rests in the arms of this One whom she has grown to love and trust with her very being.”
How about you? What kind of person are you longing to BE? Do you long for a better prayer life… then pray! Do you long for a more intimate relationship with Jesus… then sit at his feet! Do you hunger and thirst for righteousness… then feed yourself with the Bread of Life!
Erin Jacobsma