If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. This seems to be a favorite line of mothers. In the movie Bambi, Thumper’s mother reminds him of this wisdom and I have repeated this saying to my own family more than once. A new version that I recently heard is “If you can’t be positive, then at least be quiet.”
The tongue is a popular topic in the Bible, especially in the book of Proverbs. Listen to these words from Proverbs 6:16-19 “There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies, and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.” Is it any surprise that 3 of the 7 things that the Lord finds detestable have to do with our mouth and the words we say?
The Wisdom Writer continues with more insight regarding our tongue:
- “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” Proverbs 10:19
- “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18-19
- “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.” Proverbs 13:3
- “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.” Proverbs 15:1-2
- “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.” Proverbs 15:28
- “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.” Proverbs 17:27-28
- “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” Proverbs 21:23
I have had multiple conversations in the past weeks with people who have witnessed the Body of Christ using reckless words and gushing evil from their mouth, criticizing other Christians and bashing the Church. This saddens me greatly, and yet I am convicted that my tongue is also sometimes more like a sword than an instrument of healing. It is so easy to open our mouth and let our words fly. But James reminds us that “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. (James 1:26)
As it was in the time of the early church, so it is today. “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.” (James 3:9-10)
Another phrase you have probably heard is “think before you speak”. Using the letters of the word THINK, examine your heart and think about whether what you are going to say is True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29)
If you agree with 2 Timothy 3:16-17 that all Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, then we would be wise to evaluate and correct our words. May we all pray the words of David, “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.”
Erin Jacobsma