I recently stopped at a local restaurant to do some reading while enjoying a cup of coffee. Only a few minutes had passed when a couple of elderly women at the table to my right began expressing their thoughts and feelings about their church. One of the women in particular seemed most passionate and therefore did most of the talking.
She began by expressing her frustration about her church by saying, “all they really want is our money.” She went on to explain to her friend that her finances were tight which made it difficult for her to give. Then she gave an example of how greedy her church was in that they charged a fee for the use of the church for weddings and other activities.
When it came to her daughter’s wedding, she said it didn’t really make any sense to her that her church would charge her rent, especially since she had been a member of the “damn church” her whole life and she helped pay for it. So what did her and her husband do; they rented a town hall in another town and her daughter’s wedding “was just as nice of a wedding as if it was in a church” (I assumed the rent of the town hall was less than the church).
Next she shared how her brother had been offended by one of their pastors. As she told this part of the story, her voice got softer so I was unable to hear the extent of the offense. However, raising her voice again as she finished the story, it seemed as if she wanted everyone in the restaurant to know he hadn’t been back to church for over 45 years!! And then she finished by sharing that she didn’t attend her church very often anymore.
I thought, oh my, I’m sure glad the members of ARC would never talk that way about our church or about me in public! And I’m sure glad that none of our members would harbor unforgiveness for 45 years for something the pastor said. And I’m sure glad we don’t charge our members for using the church they helped pay for—oh wait!
And then it dawned on me, since the book I was reading was entitled Organic Outreach for Churches; Infusing Evangelistic Passion into Your Congregation, I wondered if it was divine appointment, so I was about to engage the two ladies in a conversation about their painful church experience, but they began talking about the exorbitant cost of health care. And so I let the grand opportunity slip away.
Then ironically, I began reading again in chapter three where Kevin Harney writes, “When we criticize the church and sling mud at Christ’s bride, our vision for outreach grows hazy…The church, as the bride of Christ, is made up of frail and broken people…But Jesus still loves his bride, even with her warts and weirdness, and we should love her too. When we judge and condemn the people and practices of the church, we are attacking our brothers and sisters, and ourselves.”
As I reflected on the witness of the two women, I couldn’t help but think of Alexander the metal worker. Paul writes about how Alexander negatively impacted the Kingdom in II Timothy 4:14-15, “Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him for what he has done. You too should be on your guard against him, because he strongly opposed our message.”
May it not be so with us to slander the bride of Christ, but rather in love, may we speak only that which is helpful for advancing the Kingdom, that it may benefit those who listen…because you never know who might be listening.
Grace be with you, Mike Altena